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Poster: Dancinbears Date: Apr 15, 2007 9:10pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: there is hope...

so at first I was going to just stop posting....
thought maybe it best if I 'took a step back' from the forum. seems like a lot of us were having the same idea in one way or another, for a lot of different reasons.

I don't remember when I first showed up here..... it has to be about 6 months now. sometimes it feels like I know some of you much longer. That 6 months has been like a roller coaster ride.... ups and downs, curves and everything!

remember my 'what the forum means to me post'...? that was supposed to be my last post here. It was my way of saying good bye. And even thou my plan was to stop reading also, the forum is like watching an accident... you almost can't look away!

I never said I'm sorry to everybody for that last huge blow-up, so I'll say it now. Even thou it wasn't really all of my fault, but a group of us who came up with the idea... I was the one who ran with the ball. I never meant for it to get so out of control.

While we're on the subject, I guess I never apoligized for the blow-up drama thing that was my fault before this one... or the one before that one... or the one before that one.

Somebody wrote recently...'judge the poster by what they post'.... I showed up here, and in truth haven't really contributed very much by way of grateful dead knowledge. I came for the show recommendations, for the things I could learn from all of you by reading a thread all the way thru! I stayed here because I realized there were a very cool bunch of men behind these cute little screen names. Men who made me laugh. Men who showed me in all diffent ways just how much they could care for somebody 'over the internet'.

I am the first person to be guilty of using the forun as a chat room. of using it to get to know all of you. of asking girly questions. Before we had chatzy and Grok, I came on threads and left all my smile faces... :) everywhere.

Everybody knows I go over to deadhook too... (and no I'm not trying to advertise there now....) but I don't go to any other forums on the internet, so it's the only place I could use as an example.... so, you know what makes it different there? We have someone in charge. Someone who comes up with guidelines... for example, no talk of politics. The truth is some of these character names who are multiple people, would have been booted off the site long ago!

So we don't have anyone in charge here. there are no rules. somehow, someway we all have to learn to 'just get along'... to find that middle ground to accept everybody!! all of us! ... long posts, short posts... newbies who ask us a question we just answered 3 days ago... the top 10 listers... even those of us who are stuck in the pre-77 era and just are not hearing how F*ing damn good Brent was!! (I mean hel-lo!!)

anyway.... Almost everyone of us understood why Cliff wrote his last post about the archive being a serious library. The music is what matters. I wrote a post before and I said I felt sorry for someone who wasn't getting 'IT'. But WE get 'IT'... that's why we're all here!! That's why we're all STILL here all these years after Jerry's death.

It's a public forum... we can't stop other people who don't get 'IT' from coming in and playing around with us! we can't stop them from wanting to piss off 'those damn drugged out hippies'...or whatever sterotype they may have us all pegged into. We won't be able to stop the drama when it happens... (thou I promise I'm going to try really hard not to be the cause of any more little blow-ups.)

(Cliff, I hope you're reading this....)
But we can continue on.... :)
we can still make top 10 lists.... I read them! :)
we can still laugh at those of us who are strictly pre-77!
we can still welcome every newbie... every lurker!! and there's been a ton of new faces... (hi everybody!)
we can keep on truckin!

I would very much like us to.
Those people that aren't really into the music ,and aren't here for the right reasons will move on when they get bored or tired of us. They will leave. and maybe somebody else will be right behind them, ready to 'stir it up' again. It's ok. Even if you get to the point where you're so frustrated you have to walk away... just 'take a step back'.

There is hope... I believe it.
Ashes is posting again. :)
tiger is posting again. :)
and Purple Gel posted again today... :) (hi)

they say 3rd times a charm! Those of us that are here to learn, will keep learning... if those of you that are here to teach will keep teaching.

my love to everybody on this forum... posters and lurkers alike. :)

p.s. I asked the moderators for some help. :)

sorry-- I'm bumping this. There's still someone who needs to read it who didn't yet. thanks. :)

This post was modified by Dancinbears on 2007-04-15 15:25:00

This post was modified by Dancinbears on 2007-04-16 04:10:07

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Poster: Arbuthnot Date: Apr 14, 2007 10:14pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

Dancin' ... way cool, just like you always have been

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Poster: Chris Freedom Date: Apr 15, 2007 4:36am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

Hey Dancin,

At first, I thought you might have been overdramatizing problems around here, so even though I respected your effort
I was not inclined to actually do very much about things.
But, after seeing the real edginess around here lately, I really would like for us to all find common ground.(There is a thin line between creative collective anarchy and selfish individual stupidity- this forum is experiencing a modern day hi-tech Gate Crasher in my opinion)

I was at a Rainbow Gathering many years ago ( someone really has to be defective to get booted from a gathering) but it was made known at council that a child molester had set up a tent right in the kiddie village play space. Well, I will tell you the democratic process was followed but the pervert was removed quickly from the area where kids were playing.

You know I think we all have to give a little, I like talking politics but I was asked to cool out on that ,so I have, that is not unreasonable, it is a Dead forum.
Others have been asked to be sensitive that this is not a male only locker room forum and by and large that has improved around here.

Yet, it was asked that no one post under multiple handles and that has continued without ceasing to the point where I only read threads that are started by handles I know will not waste my time and worse I tend to not even respond to handles that say something half-way intelligent but might just be a lure or bait. This prank has soured much of the good will that I first found around this place.

I can not speak for anyone else but this is what I feel like I have been through at this forum lately.

1) Denial- There is no problem- Everything is fine
it will just blow over

2)If you can't beat em , join em- (reference my clowning around with the blockhead instead of shunning em as had been strongly suggested)

3) Anger- Lash out and just have it come right back from 10 different directions

4) Apathy- I don't care I will just go do something else, somewhere else

5) China Doll- There has got to be a way to get humpty -dumpty (the forum) back together again

Dancin, I hope you have been doing great.

Chris Freedom

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Poster: tree-ap Date: Apr 16, 2007 6:45am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

CF---I remember that Gathering. I seem to recall he was "counseled" to the point of leaving "voluntarily"---people just followed him around so we knew where he was at all times---harassed basically. Didn't he have a school bus where he was caught with a child? I personally believe that "babylon" should've been called into arrest him---did that happen? Anyway, Gatherings are a microcosm of society @ large, so there's every element present.

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Poster: n2oheaddives Date: Apr 15, 2007 10:09pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

Dancinbear, let me offer you and this forum a peace offering from the non-deadest head on these proverbial shoulders. We can just refer to this moment as "a day that will go down in infamy too".

Remember Jerry loves you.

This post was modified by n2oheaddives on 2007-04-16 05:09:21

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Poster: JodyC Date: Apr 16, 2007 6:13am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

Bears-Read this yesterday but did not have to respond, but great thoughts to have shared. More importantly, hows things going with the daughters. It seemed a few weeks ago perhaps you were on the way to see a specialist for one of them. Way more important than the goofiness that rears its head here on a regular basis. Hope the news is good. Thanks for posting.

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Poster: rastamon Date: Apr 16, 2007 6:56am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

In spite of my rants & occasional popular(haha)politics, you are a blessing here, dancinbears!

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Poster: cush11 Date: Apr 15, 2007 1:31am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

Very eloquent Girl...


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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Apr 15, 2007 6:17am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

DB--as the one who pointed the finger at you, I have learned a few things. The first thing I have learned is that we are all human, and we are subject to the failings and weirdness that comes with the package. It does seem that "there are many among here who feel that life is but a joke" (Bobby D.). It also seems that many of us ( find it easy to pontificate, criticize, cast aspersions, make matters worse, or just be jerks (guilty I do be). Sometimes we (or at least I) feel somehow obligated to become the moral compass of a group of yahoos who have very diverse personalities. Sometimes someone else takes up the mantle. What happens each time that some well intentioned member of the gang gets up on his soapbox is that another member of the gang may get offended and get up on his. And they'll tell two friends, and they'll tell two friends . . . . . . . . . Kaboom. There goes the neighborhood.

And then we take sides----against whom? Against what? "Nobody's right if everybody's wrong" (S.Stills). And then the fire spreads, posts and counterposts are made, names are called, feelings are hurt, the whole page is lit up with the fires of anger, and we have become lost in a conflagration of our own design.

Who among us is not guilty? Who among us can nnot leave the bait on the table? Who among us gets it right each and every time?

Oh, they will say, but these fights are important, for we battle over the very future of---of what? the nuclear situation in Iran? The plight of the Amazon? The paternity of Anna Nichole's baby? (Thank God we solved that one--thank you Nancy Grace.) We are fighting over what we think this board should be. And that brings out the worst in us ALL (I'm pointing at myself). "Big men, little men, turn into dust" (J.R.Robertson).

And it doesn't stop. Why? Because we all have bugs up our asses? Because we care?

Hey, folks, this board existed before most of us, and it will exist after us.

Dancinbears--let me ask you a question which I am asking myself and half the people on here. You say you have been posting around 6 months--a little longer than I have. In 6 months, you have not posted one post that was obnoxious, fractuous, useless, derisive, silly, pointless, or that went unanswered. Now, granted, you are the only person on this board who has announced that she is a woman. That cuts two ways. One: it shows how everyone here can be nice to a poster if they so chose. It also shows that it doesn't take long or much to become accepted. Yes, there is some chauvinism involved here--but still. And yes, you are a Brentite (oops, lapse into levity, sorry). But, aside from the one time that everyone pounced on your missing person's report . . . .

Damn, I was about to take my own bait there--how certain sanctimonious and self righteous folks made sport of a missing kid and then got high and mighty. Wait--that's part of my point. We are human.We can make poor decisions. We can write overly graphic descriptions of sexual acts. And we can get crucified for it. We can lose ourselves in the pack mentality. "We have met the enemy, and he is us." (Pogo) And then, a simple apology appears, the sun comes out, the world turns, and the grok was born! From the ashes of poor choice come the beacons of good ideas.

I'm losing my train of thought. I'm 55. I took acid. Jeeze--i saw the Grateful Dead--so sue me.

Here's my guide to inner tranquility, peace, and harmony.
This is a good place. It is imperfect and frustrating and even infuriating at times; but it is a good place. And, generally, it is all about the Dead. There are some (I think) double-dealers here, and there are some obnoxious posters, and there are some who seem to want to be difficult. What was your last Thanksgiving get together like? We all want the wishbone, but only two can touch it, and only one will win.

We can all enjoy the fruits of this place. Not by suddenly behaving or getting our good vibes shirts out of the closet, but by being open enough to accept each other for the unique people we are, by being generous enough to allow others to post what they post, by being wise enough to skip over posts and posters that get under our skin, by not responding to threads that seem inappropriate or inflammatory, by not being proprietary enough to make policy on the fly or by telling others how to act (hey--oldbies--you were newbies too!), by learning to apologize, by taking five before posting something you may regret (so you don't have to apologize), by understanding that we are all created in the same broken cauldron and that we are all a couple of fries short of a happy meal.

Remember: when you reply to an abusive post, or a taunt, or whatever, you are putting another rung on a ladder which can only lead to negative results. Ignore the bad and celebrate the good.

I don't know, but I've been told, if the horse don't pull you've got to carry the load.

On a personal note, DB, my thoughts are with you that things will quickly improve on the home front.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Apr 15, 2007 12:22pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

Stick around GOP... If not for any other reason, I don't want to be the only old fart left here...


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Poster: n2oheaddives Date: Apr 15, 2007 4:33pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

Mr. Pig, hear hear, I apoligize for not offering up my double-wishsandwich earlier. Guess I'm still hungry.
Thanks for your common reasoning.

NOW back to the in watching the detectives, may have found them !!!!!

I'll seriously logging off after this modification. Let's see if anyone uses this IP for the next 8 hours or so.

so IT's been about 7.5 hours, lets see which way the wind blows

This post was modified by n2oheaddives on 2007-04-15 15:34:04

This post was modified by n2oheaddives on 2007-04-15 23:05:34

This post was modified by n2oheaddives on 2007-04-15 23:33:31

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Poster: WHARFRAT Date: Apr 15, 2007 5:11am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

Well said DB!!! And i hope Cliff has read this and will reply. There is no reason for anyone to stop posting.
We should'nt need someone to in charge of things here.

WE need people like Cliff to share there knowledge here.
The music is what it is all about!!! Yes there are some
a-holes on the forum but that should'nt stop anyone from posting. We know who our friends are and leave it at that

Thank you girl!!!

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Poster: rastamon Date: Apr 15, 2007 6:54am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

actually, Cliff posted here a few days ago. I'll have to post this, click my name to find it. He's in Alaska having fun and not PC'n much. I'm pissed about multiple posts from...someone I'm 90% sure is the jerk.
That 10% of not sure who, "empowers" the jerk.
The mod's are not going to do anything as far as outing them, or making a rule-pretty sure about that. Where is Diane Hamilton when we could use her wisdom? Yeah, she is a mod at etree. But she called out a few in the past. Me, for one when I posted a few under my real name & rasta. But I was not being a jerk (or anymore than usual-haha) like the present one. She just brought it up. I think dire went thru the same when him & tito were flamin-in late 05. Hmmmmm....wonder what became of tito, he was banned-in fact, the only ban I'm aware of here. Got up this mornin, now I see a bunch of CCCC posts modified to ziltch. What new drama might this be? I miss all the night action here because I usually crash by 7pm. Anyway, that's my 2 cents of "nonsense". And good morning to you all! :)

This post was modified by rastamon on 2007-04-15 13:54:47

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Poster: ganges Date: Apr 15, 2007 1:44am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

thanks for the nice post and all those thoughts,


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Poster: William Tell Date: Apr 15, 2007 5:20pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: there is hope...

Hey you--like seeing you hereabouts. Thanks.